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The Unnatural Cook

a chronicle of weekly meal plans from someone who can't just throw a meal together

Makes 2 cups; a little goes a long way


2 bunches (about 8 ounces) whole scallions, cut into 1-inch lengths

2 ounces ginger, peeled and cut into 1-inch chunks

1 cup oil, preferably peanut or corn (I would avoid olive oil and definitely no canola, which, when heated, tastes like a piece of metal trying to be a piece of fish.)

Salt, to taste


1. Whirl the scallions in a food processor until they’re finely minced but not puréed (meaning stop before it gets liquidy and pasty). Put them in a wide, tall, heatproof bowl, several times bigger than you think you need. For real. Use a cooking pot if you have to, because when that oil gets in there, the sizzle is going to be serious business.

2. Grind up the ginger in the food processor until it’s about the same size as the scallions. Put it into the bowl with the scallions.

3. Salt the ginger and scallion like they called your mother a bad name and stir it well. Taste it. It won’t taste good because that much raw ginger and scallion doesn’t really taste good, but pay attention to the saltiness. You want it to be just a little too salty to be pleasant, because you have to account for the oil you’re about to add.

4. Take another good look at the bowl. Are you sure it’s heatproof? Are you sure it’s big enough to hold at least four or five times what you have in there? Good, because…

5. Heat the oil until it just barely starts to smoke. Then pour it into the bowl. It’s going to sizzle and bubble like a science-project volcano, and it’s going to smell awesome. But don’t stick your face in it. You wouldn’t stick your face in lava, would you?

6. Let it cool to room temperature. Keep it in the fridge. Try to remember that there are other food groups.

(I will credit the creator of this recipe as soon as I know who it is!)


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